hope is fear

If religion was the first salvation and government/institutions/law&order was second in the organization of society, as some anthropologists have argued, then the day was a long day and both were born on the same as twins.The organization of the human condition of frailty - neither sited nor blessed with speed - needed solutions.

I am neither hopeful nor fearful of the future. I believe that we can own our frailties and still command and direct our lives. We cannot do the same for others. We cannot even help them much of the time. The difference is not education and is not intelligence, it is simply one of relationships. I am as at peace with death as I am with life. I am also comfortable with failure and success. Many people expend their lives trying to define a single relationship with one of those elements - death, life, failure, success. A life focused on one end will end without any of the others. That is not acceptable to me. I need to fail. I must succeed. I will die, but before that I will live and nothing will stop me in that endeavor.

To me, this is the requirement that life has put before us: To Become. I will, at all costs including my own life, be free to do and act and think as necessary. I will learn and I will change and I will not change. In the end, regardless of all those things, I will also discover if there is a thing called me that is free of the history of the human condition. In the meantime, I will not hope for things for others or myself. I will not be afraid to face the best and worst of what life presents me. I will not fear my own or any other existence.